Welcome to For This Reason Marriage Ministries:

We are Pastors Fred & Norma Aguilar and we are so excited to have you be a part of this powerful marriage ministry!  We have made it our mission to help couples to stay in love forever and revive their marriages.  We provide Spirit-filled, Christ-centered training and counseling "couple to couple" in the home.....where God intended His presence to abide as the foundation of our marriages. The Word of God is clear "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Gen 2:24

Our Marriage Ministry has helped countless thousands of married couples by ministering Jesus' reconciling power to the separated, the divorced, the unsaved, broken families and couples that are hurting. The proof of our ministry is in the countless married couples lives we have had the privilege to help and the husbands and wives standing for their marriage today despite their friends, family and even brothers and sisters in the Lord telling them to divorce. Divorce is not the answer and we teach couples how to reconcile, stand and believe that nothing is too great for our GOD and how to be "In Love Forever".

The biblical concept of marriage is that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to live together in mutual love and respect for the glory of God, until death do them part.  Marriage is not about us, so it is not about me.  It is about God and His kingdom.  God ordained marriage as the foundational unit of society and everything is built on marriage.  Marriage, done God's way, creates the safest and best environment in which to rear children and covenant principles of marriage are based on steadfast love - looking out for the interest of each other.  They are about seeking to encourage and support each other, throughout life not just when you feel like being in the covenant, because you are "in the covenant" whether you feel like it or not and so we teach to please the Lord with your love, care and commitment to Him and to your spouse.

Thank you for visiting inloveforever.org. It is our sincere desire to bring hope to your marriage situation regardless the circumstances! Below you will find a powerful weekly teaching on covenant marriage done Gods way.

Take a minute to read testimony of couples just like you ........


WEEKLY MESSAGE | STANDING ON GODS WORD | 04/26/2017

Glory to The Lord & Blessings Upon You...

Pastors
Fred & Norma Aguilar

 

 

Angry Stuffers and Spewers 
 
When we're angry we're often tempted to deal with our anger in two improper ways: stuff it or spew it; or put another way: hide it or hurl it. These are two extremes, two ruts on either side of the road.
 
It's not hard to find ourselves getting angry at each other in marriage over big and small things. But we need to remember what we're told in the Bible, "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:26-27
 
"Rid yourselves of malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind." 1 Peter 2:1
 
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." Romans 14:19
 
So how do we do this when we disagree with our spouse and are angry with him or her, angry yes angry?
 
It's not anger itself that's the problem; it's how we DEAL with it because of the breakdown in communication it can cause.
Anger is a bi-product of an underlying hurt we're feeling deep inside, which makes us more vulnerable to handling it improperly.
 
That's where being a "Stuffer" or a "Spewer" comes into view It could be helpful to recognize if you're a spouse that handles anger in this way and/or if you're married to someone who does this.
 
STUFFERS (hiders) have difficulty admitting they're angry and have an even harder time expressing their anger. They tend to minimize their hurts and are reluctant to share. Why do 'stuffers' stuff? There are many possible reasons:
 
--They think anger is a sin.
--They are uncomfortable with confrontation.
--They grew up around family members who stuffed their anger, so they've learned the same behavior.
--They grew up around family members who spewed their anger and having been the recipient of that pain, they are doing the opposite.
-- Feelings of low self-worth make them feel as if they're not worthy of being heard.
-- Fear inhibits their willingness to express anger.
 
SPEWERS (hurlers) are just the opposite. When they're upset, they let you know it, and it's usually not pretty. Why do 'spewers' spew? There are many possible reasons. Here are a few:
 
--They don't know how to express their anger properly.
--They grew up around family members who spewed their anger, so they've learned the same behavior.
-- Personal insecurities cause them to want to intimidate others."
 
So... is it possible that you're a Stuffer or a Spewer or are you married to one? Prayerfully look within and ask the Lord to help you recognize if you're dealing with an underlying hurt that is causing problems within your marriage. Refrain from pointing fingers in a hostile way at your spouse, but instead pray, "Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24
 
If you ARE a Spewer or Stuffer, or your spouse is one, ask the Lord to help you do your part in handling conflict in the healthiest way possible. Keep in mind that we're told in the Bible, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:26
 
Yep, sounds like only religion and NO relationship with Jesus!
 
"The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly." Proverbs 15:2
 
"But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the Day of Judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:37
 
If you're a Spewer you need to motivate YOURSELF to get rid of this behavior because of the "in your face" hostile damage it can cause in your relationship (both with your spouse AND your children). How about with Jesus, you think He wants to see or hear any of it?
 
A Stuffer needs to deal with their behavior for a different reason. They often deny that they even have a problem. They'll justify their actions by thinking, "At least I don't spew out my anger that way!" But what they don't realize is that by stuffing their anger, it can turn into pride and bitterness (and God's Word is specific in stating that we're to stay away from being prideful and bitter). Those who stuff their anger can also highly frustrate others around them and this doesn't lead to "peace and to mutual edification" as the Word tells us to do.
 
As a One Flesh team, you can't deal with that which isn't acknowledged. The problem can become like having an elephant in the room that no one will admit is there and yet it keeps doing it's damage none-the-less! Even if the Stuffers intentions are noble in trying to prevent additional hurt, the results (unless Spirit-led) can cause pain in a different way.
 
So, how can you do things differently? The best way to express anger is to share your feelings, not your anger. This requires discovering the hurt under the anger. For instance, if your spouse shows up two hours later than when they said they'd be home and they didn't call ahead to tell you they'd be late, instead of spewing angry venom, or on the other end of the spectrum, refusing to talk with them about it, find the right time to share your feelings about what happen with them. Tell them, 'When were so late and I didn't know where you were, I was frightened because you said you'd be home and you didn't even call to say you'd be late. And then when you came home and seemed to be uncaring that I was worried, I felt confused. I didn't know whether I wanted to hug you or lash out at you because I felt betrayed and was so angry!
 
Even when we properly express anger, it usually takes a measure of self-control to keep from overreacting. That's we're told, 'A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.' Proverbs 29:11
Avoid these improper ways to express anger:
 
1. TAKE IT OUT ON SOMEONE who didn't have anything to do with hurting you.
 
2. BECOME PASSIVE-AGGRESIVE. (I'm going to get back at you in very subtle ways: I'll be late when you want me to be on time; I'll neglect meeting your needs; I'll do what I know irritates you.)
 
3 VERBALLY ABUSE PEOPLE by saying hurtful things (for instance, attacking someone's character because he or she may have made a mistake).
 
4. BECOME VIOLENT --engage in physical violence (by striking someone or throwing objects.) It's important to teach children how to express their anger verbally in a proper way. If not, they may stuff their anger, which is unhealthy, or they may vent their anger by coloring on the wall, hitting the dog, or 'acting out' situations. We're often all too quick to try to correct their behavior: 'Don't do that!' without first teaching them how to verbalize their anger properly.
 
Instead we are to "speak the truth in love". Ephesians 4:15 Even in our anger we're to speak in ways that are truthful, respectful, and edifying, making sure our motivation is because of "love."
 
You and your spouse may have something you need to talk about, make sure you are part of the solution and not part of the problem. And if you think there always is a problem don't make it worst, make it better!

Jesus loves you so much!

Please if you would like more information on how to join us for prayer on the phone line, email or call and I will provide you with what you will need to join us!

 

All gifts to For This Reason Marriage Ministries are tax deductible:
 
Will you prayerfully consider supporting For This Reason Marriage Ministries with a year-end contribution in response to the blessing we have been in your life? No gift is too small. The Lord can use the $5 gift as much as He uses the $1000 gift.   
 
Your gift must be postmarked by December 31, 2016 to be credited in calendar year 2016 for tax purposes.   

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We are here to help and offer phone/ Skype counseling. Just visit the Contact Us link on our website. If we can help, please call us at (817) 605-8133 or email us to request more information on our marriage seminars, retreats that help save and build marriages.

For This Reason Marriage Ministries

P.O. Box 742

Colleyville, TX 76034

Thank you and the Lord bless you for your prayers, love and gifts of support.

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There is still a group of us gathering Monday thru Saturday for one hour of prayer at 6 am, you can join us by phone if you are interested in joining us please Contact Us so I can give you more information! Remember that is 6:00 am CST.

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